103 - HOW'S YOUR METAPHOR?

We all use it, not always wisely though. Language that is. It can be a very powerful tool. Not just in the sense of using it powerfully to the traffic warden that's just plastered a ticket on your car window, but everyday language that we say to ourselves internally and to others.

As soon as you clean up any negative language such as "I'm crap at x", our brain shows us a picture of it, so if I said "don't think about pink elephants", that would be the first thing you would think of because our minds always shows us pictures even if we aren't aware of them. Now if you decided to change "I'm crap at x" to something more empowering such as "I'm starting to get better at x", it immediately has an effect on us. If you stopped and asked yourself "how am I crap at x", you would find you would probably access a visual as well as internal dialogue. If you then asked "how could you getting better at x", your mind would go on a search and come up with an answer. It isn't always just visual sometimes it uses many modalities such as auditory and kinaesthetic.

Now when we take language a little further we discover that people tend to use metaphors a lot. We use them for the state of our finances, relationships, work, everything! For example, I'm an actress and a few years ago a friend of mine came to stay and I happened to have photographs on the basement passage wall of me in various shows. She came upstairs one day and asked me "why is your career in the basement?" I have to tell you that metaphor really "hit home". All she meant was in Feng Shui terms my photo's should have been in the porch (career site). However, her use of words shocked me, because my career at that time was in the basement, metaphorically speaking, (pun intended) it wasn't going anywhere. Needless to say I moved those photos quicker than a blink of an eye!

So when we say things such as "life's just an uphill struggle", or "I feel caged in", we are actually making a public announcement about our life. I remember when I was doing my NLP training one of the trainers was an ex nurse who had worked in cardiac wards in hospitals for many years and she said she often heard patients saying things like "it broke my heart when ...", or "I felt all choked up ..." Our subconscious is very clever and will often give us the words that indicate exactly where we are in our life at that present time.

So today just notice in your daily life your own metaphors and other people's. They will give you huge clues as to where you and they are in different life areas. For example, if someone you know always says things such as "it never rains but it pours", chances are they may not be having a great time in that particular life area. You could say to help them become aware of their metaphor and say "every cloud has a silver lining".

Notice especially metaphors around health. Someone I know said she felt like a 'wilting plant', in this case it would be useful to suggest that she waters it, and ask what way could the plant be nourished automatically in the future. Basically you are rewriting you own life metaphors. Be aware, also, what metaphors other people use to describe you, they may not always be useful.

Some areas you could become aware of are:

Money, Work, Domestic, Relationships, Socialising, Health, Love, Self Image.

Be aware of the negative and listen to what it is saying about you. If you do not find it empowering or useful, turn it round to something that is.

Until next week Onwards and Upwards and have a metaphoric week!