WEEKLY COACHING TIP #154

BODY LANGUAGE

Did you know that the words you say only contribute for 7% of your communication?

93% of communication is non verbal, that’s

• 38% for the way you say things (tone, pitch, pronunciation etc…)
• 55% for your body language (facial expression, posture, gesture)

So even if you are not speaking you will be saying something with your body and your face (those 80 muscles can create 7,000 facial expressions!).

Therefore it can really pay to know how you are communicating through your body language and how to get into rapport with other people.

When people are speaking and you’re not sure that they are really telling the truth, you can study their body language, both generally and the real micro stuff, for instance (a slight shake of the head when they are saying yes, usually means, unconsciously, ‘no’)

Some general points to be aware of:

Upper Body

Generally speaking upper body tends to reflect our emotional states and because they are unconscious they are more reliable indicators of a person’s state or mood that movement of arms and legs.

• Leaning away from someone is a sign of disagreement, disliking and/or shyness
• Head bowed down and forward is a response that shows submissiveness
• Forward leaning with the head up shows a positive interest in the other person
• Raised shoulders often signals fear or tension
• Stooped shoulders signals negativity

Eye Contact

What’s relevant here is keeping good eye contact but not staring. Also avoid ‘eye dart’, this is where your eyes are shifting side to side, as it makes you look ‘shifty’.  This usually happens because the person is uncomfortable on some level. If you are addressing an audience don’t hold your eyes on 1 person for more than 3-4 seconds otherwise they may become uncomfortable.

General overview of Body Postures

If a person is feeling RESPONSIVE, you are most likely to see some of the following behaviour:

• Leaning forward with open posture
• Smiling, relaxed
• Head tilted to side sometimes
• Sitting on edge of chair
• Knees apart
• Mirroring the other person’s body language

Someone feeling DEFENSIVE, you may expect to see the following behaviour

• Leaning back
• Folded arms tightly across their body
• Closed posture or position
• Touching lips with finger tips
• Bowing head forward submissively
• No eye contact or very little

When feeling COMBATIVE

• Leaning forwards
• Adopting closed body position
• Tensing mouth
• Glaring
• Tapping finger or foot

When feeling REFLECTIVE

• Open body posture
• Aligning body directly with yours
• Occasionally glancing to side
• Direct eye contact
• Moving only minimally

I hope that helps next time you are with someone and want to study some body language and help your own.

Next week look out for the more psychological element of communication.

Want to know more on Body Language and Public Speaking?

•  go to http://www.coachinginspirit.com/Topics/Public_Speaking.htm

•  attend our next week-end seminar “The Secrets of Public Speaking”

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