WEEKLY COACHING TIP #163

10 Things to Know About Office Xmas Parties

Well here we are, Christmas nearly here once again.  I don’t know about you, but this year really has flown, I feel as if summer was just a month ago and now we are in the festive season.  So, will you be attending some Christmas ‘do’s’ or will you be avoiding them, if you work in an office environment will you be going the Christmas bash and looking forward to it or dreading it?  According to a survey of 1,000 workers in the UK by jobs.telegraph.co.uk, and reported on Irish Jobs.com, researchers found that:

1. 19% of employees interviewed would prefer not to socialize with people with whom they work.

2. 1% said they didn't want to attend the Christmas party at all but felt they had to for their career.

3. 10% confessed to having started a relationship during. 10% said they'd flirted with the boss, and 25% said they met their future spouse under the mistletoe.

4. 6% had seen a colleague fired at the office party.

5. 8% had handed in their notice at the office party.

6. 20% were caught canoodling with a colleague, 5% confessed to hitting someone, 5% admitted to stripping during festivities.

7. One in 6 workers admitted they'd insulted their boss and nearly 1 in 10 had demanded a pay raise.

8. 15% said they most dreaded meeting the office "letch" at the party, and 19% said the event would be markedly improved if the boss didn't attend.

9. What would they do to avoid the party? 8% had taken the day off. 15% pretended to be double booked. 8% said they would do unpaid overtime to avoid it.

10. And 14% of employees said they would rather clean their house than attend.

Just look at any of the above and see if you can relate to any of the points.  Notice which one(s) jump out at you and why.  Let’s take each point and if it relates to you then maybe the following will help.  Many times if we are worried about a certain occasion we do the very thing we shouldn’t, i.e. grit our teeth and get drunk.  Then often, we live to regret it the next day.  With a little bit of thinking ahead of why you feel like you do and a bit of forward planning, you could essentially, avoid the not so good bits and really enjoy the things/people that you do like.

1. If there is someone you don’t like, as yourself why.  Don’t just write him/her off.  Chances are it’s reflecting back something to you.  Why not, make a real effort beforehand to pick one of them and decide to be really friendly and get to know them a bit better, see past that office persona.  Quite often, out of our daily context, we can find much more interesting and deeper things out about people that can give us a whole new perspective on them.  For example, one person I worked with many years ago, I thought him to be really boring and a bit up his own backside, and I honestly believed I’d tried many times to engage him in conversation, only to be ‘shunned’ by him.  It turned out this guy was a Samaritan and did an awful lot of charity work in his own time.  He was essentially shy but on 1-1 he opened up. I really saw a softer and more interesting side to him.

2. If you are worried about your career then you either need to look closely at it and/or go easy on the alcohol.

3. Ask yourself now, is there anybody you really fancy that you work with, including your boss.  If there is, be careful, decide who is definitely out of bounds, and be cautious if you do decide that ‘tonight’s the night’ that you are going to tell them, then do it when you are stone cold sober, or not at all!

4. What would get you fired? Remember you are still carrying your personality around with you even if it is party time, make sure you don’t behave like a creep/arrogant/nasty/lecherous because you will have to face your colleagues the next day.

5. If you are really that unhappy in your job then hand your notice in before or after at the office party, during is just not appropriate.

6. Okay, some of this can be harmless, again think about if you really would want to canoodle him/her before you go to the party and how you would feel after i.e. the next day at work. Violence, however, is never acceptable.  Stripping, well what do you think?

7. If you do any of these things then really you must expect a backlash.  STAY OFF THE ALCOHOL if your job is important to you.  Leave early and get drunk after you leave the party if you must.

8. Why do people worry about meeting a ‘letch’, if you have your own personal boundaries sorted, s/he can’t letch.  You don’t give them an opportunity, but you are polite.  If you don’t like your boss, be big and speak to him anyway, maybe about his family/car, be genuinely interested.  It’s hard being a boss sometimes.  S/he might really appreciate it if you are sincere.

9. If you really absolutely do not want to attend, be honest, tell the boss that you really hate office parties, you just aren’t good at being around people who are overly merry etc.  Otherwise you can call in stay an hour and slip away unnoticed.

10. If you do decide to stay away, think how virtuous you will feel when you’ve cleaned your house!

© 2005 INSPIRIT & Denise Bosque All Rights Reserved