WEEKLY COACHING TIP #165                                                                                                                                                                 WCT Archive

HELP – I’M OVERWHELMED!

I think we might all agree that can be the busiest time of the year for us, what with Christmas shopping, functions to go to, new clothes to buy and trying to keep the work life balance, not to mention our sanity and health together!

It would be no great surprise to feel you might be in overwhelm sometimes. I found myself with these feelings the other day when I had so much to do and not enough time, and what did I find myself doing, yes, eating and not particularly healthy foods either, when I realised what I was eating and how fast, I was quite shocked that I felt so out of control. However, I told myself, “Well it’s a bit of comfort and that’s okay and I can indulge myself just for now, tomorrow I’ll be back to ‘normal’ ”. These justifications all seemed perfectly valid reasons. Actually, though they were just excuses, plain and simple for not just stopping and confronting the problem, I was actually facing and then taking action on it.

Similarly, the other day I was talking to a client and she was in a frazzled state. She had just been told that a property she rents out had been vacated without any notice by a tenant, she had also been informed it had damp that needed to be fixed, and on the same day, a mortgage she had applied for and which was accepted, turned out to be the wrong one, which may be a very expensive mistake for her. In the end, the solution we came up with that worked for her was simply to realise she couldn’t do anything about some of the things and let them go, pure and simple, the other stuff, she actually ‘handed over’ to the higher power and trusted that she will be guided to the answer. The relief she felt at the end of it was enormous and I have to say after that process she looked quite peaceful compared to what she did when she came in.

If only we were more on the ball about how we were feeling more immediately, it would prevent many negative things then taking place, whether it’s overeating or eating incredibly unhealthy foods, overspending or losing our tempers with people close to us. So today I’m going to give you a few tips on how to keep out of overwhelm so you can take Christmas in your stride or indeed any situation in your life. Like most things in life they are very simple but if you actually do them, they work and quickly too. It might be a good idea to print this out and have it in a place where you can look at it to remind yourself when you are about to go into overwhelm.

1. STOP! - If you don’t, how can you possibly be aware of what is driving your behaviour. If you don’t stop chances are that you will continue to go into a downward spiral.

2. BREATHE - When we breathe deeply and consciously it actually puts us back in touch with our feelings and gives us a moment to gain perspective detached from our emotions.

3. REALISE - What is the most important thing that you must do right now and also what would happen if you didn’t. That can often have the effect of giving us a true perspective i.e. in a year’s time would it really matter?

4. MAKE A PLAN - For example, if you have a decision to make and you are worried about the consequences, write down the pros and cons and then see how your feelings are about the best and worst case scenarios, that will be your true guide. None of us knows what will happen in the future, you can only go off what you feel, good or not good about now. Our emotions are our guiding system, use them, they will give you your answers.

5. DELEGATE - If you can. A lot of the time we do things just because we are used to doing them and getting on with it. This could be a good time to ‘train’ someone else up to do it, even if it’s getting your kids or the office junior to do it. It will be worth it in the long term. OR, you could just say ‘NO’ to something. (Will the world stop if you do?)

6. WRITE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS DOWN - Don’t edit them, just write as you feel them, you can often gain clarity from this.

7. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - By stopping what you are doing, and doing something completely different (e.g. a walk, the gym, a telephone conversation with your coach or best friend). This can be such a good distraction that when you come back to the problem you already feel differently about it. You can’t solve a problem with the same mind and feelings that created it.

8. PRIORITISE YOUR LIST - Then just do it in the order of importance and give your full attention to that job in hand and NOTHING ELSE until it’s done, then the next one. Living in the moment will take any panic or fear out of virtually any situation.

9. HAND IT OVER TO SOURCE, YOUR HIGHER POWER - This of course only works if you truly believe in that higher power. You must then just TRUST that everything will be alright, whatever happens.

10. FAIL TO WORRY - Yes, actually don’t do it. Will it help you to do the 50 things you have to do by worrying, of course not, so just let it go and get over yourself!

As a major ex worrier myself, I know that the above things work and done consistently enough, become second nature. Life then becomes so much easier and fun. I highly recommend it!

Until next week Onwards and Upwards!

© 2005 INSPIRIT & Denise Bosque All Rights Reserved